An open letter to Switzerland

Dear Switzerland,

It has come to my attention that sitting by the ocean is more conducive to my part-time occupation of being a writer. (Please note that there is no income associated with this part-time occupation, and hence you may not tax me, as I am sure you’d love to do.)

As I seem to be much happier by the sea than I am by your (no less majestic) lakes, I hereby request that you start digging through France (if you need some help, ask their president – he seems to be digging an ever-growing hole beneath his feet, and has more than enough practice) until you reach the aforementioned ocean, and end what must be a recurrent case of continental cabin fever for most of your loyal and law abiding citizens.

Take this as a way to put our taxes to good use, and a way to defy the universal view that you are one of the top ten most boring countries in the world (Luxembourg is also on that list). Know that this is in no way a criticism of your beautiful landscape, your hard working ways and the high quality of life you ensure to most of your citizens (this part-time writer included). No, this is merely a suggestion – because after so much time as the worldwide capital of private banking, it’s time to freshen up, n’est-ce pas?

Cordially yours,



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